I just had my first run-in with a giant African cockroach. It was about 1.5 x 0.75 inches, and looked like the flat, wet end of a discarded cigar.

It all started as I was making dinner. The potatoes were bubbling merrily in the water, prepping for the ultimate comfort food: mashed. A robust funnel of steam was rising from the pot causing the glass in the cupboard doors to fog over. I was chopping and washing, slicing and measuring, carelessly…ignorantly. Looking for the roasting pan, I opened the cupboard and there it was, as obscene as if a stranger had evacuated right there on the shelf. And then it moved.

I screamed and ran gingerly, rapidly so my feet would barely touch the ground. “OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodit’sacockroachinthecupboard.”

Craig looked up from his laptop and said, “So it begins.” Stoney-faced, he walked into the kitchen and hand wrapped only in a paper towel, plucked the roach from its perch. He strode to the window and flung it out into the night.



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3 responses to “Cockroach!

  1. Jason

    Funny you should mention cockroaches. I am, at this very moment, seated in front of an article called “squish, squash, kill that roach”. It offers tips to kick those creepy critters to the curb. Should I perhaps forward it to you?

  2. Tara

    Sounds like an improvement to your reaction that time in ancient history at The Laverne. And Jason: didn’t you read? Why kick them to the curb when you can throw them out the window?!

  3. kristina

    didn’t I read an article you wrote on cockroaches? OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodit’sacockroachinthecupboard.???

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