Horseback riding at Cintsa

On the way back from Kei Mouth, we stop in Cintsa to go horseback riding. We are three in a group of eight, and when the owner Penny shows up, she matches us each with our horse. Craig will ride Contessa (I am not making this up), David gets Fat Freddy, and I get Girly. Girly looks like a handful and I ask Penny if she’s skittish. Penny tells me that Girly was a rescue horse who has rehabilitated and won’t give me trouble.

Rehabilitated like Amy Winehouse, apparently. From the moment I get on, we have issues. Girly’s got major baggage and I don’t know what I am doing, which is a great mix. First she won’t go, and I really can’t bring myself to kick her very hard. Then she gets into a fight with another horse. Penny gets fed up and says she’ll swap horses with me, which is a huge relief. Not only because of the horse, either – for some reason I got the short straw and drew the crotchless torture saddle as well.

One word: Why?

One word: Why?

We get down to the beach and Penny tells me to hop off. “I’ll take Girly and you can ride Dusty. I’m just going to swap saddles.” D’oh.

At the entrance to the beach.

At the entrance to the beach.

Penny puts me and the torture saddle on Dusty and I hop on. Girly immediately attacks Dusty and kicks me in the leg. I am holding on because Dusty is rearing and whinnying, and I would pay a lot of money to see the look on my face at that moment. Craig is laughing on the edge of hysteria but he manages to choke out these encouraging words: “You are going to die today.”

As it turned out, it was this girl that almost died when her feet slipped through the stirrups at a canter, and I nearly lost consciousness from laughing so hard as Penny galloped toward her yelling, "Ohhhh! Noooo! Don't fall offffff!"

As it turned out, it was this girl that almost died when her feet slipped through the stirrups at a canter, and I nearly lost consciousness from laughing so hard as Penny galloped toward her yelling, "Ohhhh! Noooo! Try to hang onnnn!"

Getting all National Velvet up in here.

Getting all National Velvet up in here.

I didn’t die that day, but the crotchless saddle took its pound of flesh.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Horseback riding at Cintsa

  1. blissbait

    i can’t stop laughing!!!
    crotchless sadles? bad idea!
    you’re hilarious!

    Can’t Thank You Enough for the smile and laugh. Sorry for your pain! You’re a wonderful writer.

    Cheers!

  2. edie

    is your white linen travel shirt an anti-horse-ite?

    i feel it’s kind of like the gnome of your trip. i miss its face.

  3. Noelle

    If Amy Winehouse had your horse’s problems…. *sigh*

  4. Kelly

    Agh, I can imagine exactly how much that saddle hurt. Good god, what a torture device. It was invented by the Spanish Inquisition, I’m sure.

  5. Fawthuh

    I look at that final picture of you in your riding helmet, jaw set, gazing through sunglasses to the horizon and I hear distant bugles.

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