Nothing like writing out instructions for a house sitter to make you question if you live like normal people.
Other evidence (not pictured):
The cats like to drink out of beer steins (particularly the Hooters one), so make sure they’re always topped up.
Morning is a time of uncontainable excitement for Noodle. He will try and wake you in a variety of ways, which historically have included: raking nails across the leaves of my bedside book to create loud fan effect; rattling the balsawood garbage bin against the side of the dresser so I am woken to tribal beats; crawling on my chest and purring frantically on both the inhale and exhale while training his eyes on my lids for any movement at all; and my personal favourite, jimmying the hallway door open and slamming it shut repeatedly until I have to get up even if only to put a pillow in the door jamb.
Do not, under any circumstances, water the rubber tree. If you do it will never drain. Like a reverse and slackened black hole, water will leak out of the bottom for days.